One-time rugby league star Graham Lowe committed an unpardonable sin when he described Jacinda Ardern on the Paul Henry Breakfast as being “a pretty little thing” and “would look good as a prime minister.” The twitterati and other sections of the social media erupted and Graham sensibly laid low until the furore died down.
While the comments enraged many of her colleagues, Ms Ardern was not drawn to respond.
Mr Lowe was born in another era and while most have sought to cope with the times that Bob Dylan reminded us were a-changing, Mr Lowe may well have got too many bumps on the head during his stellar career to recognise the subtle amelioration.
There was a time when flattery got you everywhere when dealing with the fairer sex, but they’ve seen through the male veneer and now justifiably demand a level playing field in gender communication.
Last week, on the other side of the world, 27 year-old Staffordshire barrister Charlotte Proudman was incensed with a response from award-winning human-rights lawyer Alexander Carter-Silk to a Linked-in advertisement she had posted on the internet which included a head and shoulders photograph of herself.
Carter-Silk, many years her senior, posted that he was “Delighted to connect; I appreciate that this is probably horrendously politically incorrect, but that is a stunning picture”.
Ms Proudman, perhaps not as astute as Jacinda Ardern, was swift to respond. “I find your message offensive,” she shot back; “I am on Linked-in for business purposes, not to be approached about my physical appearance or to be objectified by sexist men. The eroticism of women’s physical appearance is a way of exercising power over women. It silences women’s professional attributes as their physical appearance becomes the subject. Unacceptable and misogynistic behaviour; think twice before sending another woman (half your age) such a sexist message.”
She then posted the two-way transcripts on the internet and the response throughout Britain made Graham Lowe look like an amateur at offending women. Uncharacteristically, I thought she had a point. I have no argument with what she did. A young woman should be able to post an advertisement about herself and her professional attributes on a business networking site without having to suffer the unwanted attention of men commenting on her appearance. However it turned out that by publically shaming the over-enthusiastic flatterer meant the reaction was not necessarily to her liking.
Not even the sisterhood backed her unconditionally. Writing in the Daily Mail Jan Moir said “Ms Proudman had presented herself as equal part heroine and victim, something only Joan of Arc had successfully pulled off in the past. To prove what an excellent feminist she is Carter-Silk has been humiliated and she has been vindicated”
Ms Proudman regarded the critical judgement by many as demonising, but as one commentator put it “If you cover yourself with honey and climb into a sewer, don’t expect any sympathy if you come out covered in cockroaches.”
After 52 years of married bliss the female that rules the roost in our household is a half-poodle, half-shitzu called “Molly.” She’s a pretty little thing….
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